the camera phone self-portrait project

a metaphor within a true story

2007-02-12T13:02:00.000-08:00

how to fall asleep on a train
(for insomniacs with social anxiety)

step 1: have realistic travel plans.
step 2: accept responsibility for your own ticket.
step 3: board willingly and be prepared for the journey.
step 4: properly stow all baggage so it will not prohibit you from stretching your legs but could still be useful as a footrest.
step 5: choose a seat that holds you in a comfortable position.
step 6: do not worry that you will miss your stop; the end of the line is just a switch in direction.
step 7: select music you enjoy even when the songs start to repeat themselves.
step 8: relax, close your eyes, and take a deep breath.
step 9: visualize falling...
step 10: if unsuccessful; repeat steps 1-9 until lucid dreaming occurs.

exposure

2007-02-09T07:38:00.000-08:00

(act natural: to fake reality; see also: oxymoron)

it is easy to see behind the viewfinder, but harder to do when facing the camera...

and, like politics, the end result doesn't always look like either side's intentions.

the balance...

2007-01-24T23:20:00.000-08:00

live fast. take risks. experience everything. fall hard...
(tomorrow could be your last day on earth)

live well. take vitamins. step carefully. start slowly...
(you could have great-children someday)

facades

2007-01-20T19:28:00.000-08:00

what if...

I'm not really that girl, and you're not really that guy, but

we never took off the mask and cape to notice that it really was bruce wayne?

bricks and feathers

2007-01-19T21:55:00.000-08:00

so I know a pound of either weighs the same...

but
which
will hurt less
if it hits you as it
is falling to the ground?

little dresses

2007-01-17T14:43:00.000-08:00

because our great-grandmothers wore them under their clothes and said goodbye to corsets...

because our grandmothers wore them to the beach and said they wanted to go swimming...

because our mothers wore them with nothing underneath and said the revolution is now...

I can wear mine with levi's and white boots.
even after labor day.

recurrent themes

2007-01-16T17:33:00.000-08:00

"we don't remember days; we remember moments."- cesare pavese

(he wrote novels searching for meaning in urban life, yet we quote the journals published after he died)

negative, positive

2007-01-13T23:23:00.000-08:00

energy...

backwoods, la

2007-01-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

where a dress picks up better reception than a cell phone.

I-10

2007-01-07T21:30:00.000-08:00

broken, fleeting, hurricane, watching, whirlwind,

sensory overload...

estimated departure

2007-01-06T19:33:00.000-08:00

snow.
the holiday season.
denver international airport.
one flight cancelled and another delayed...

killing time.

floating

2006-12-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

because you happen to be wearing a shirt the exact same shade as the paint on the walls...

bohemian like you.

2006-12-21T12:22:00.000-08:00

travelin' around the states until january 11th.

please pardon the sporadic posting.

bandit!

2006-12-14T22:32:00.000-08:00

(words are to connotations what people are to definitions)

a thesaurus game: the six degrees of synonyms

(1) bandit: a desperado, or
(2) delinquent: a derelict, or
(3) vagabond: a nomad, or
(4) wanderer: a risk taker, or
(5) adventurer: a brave person, or
(6) hero

insomnia

2006-12-13T16:21:00.000-08:00

if only falling asleep was always as easy as it looks...

to enjoy while they last:

2006-12-11T22:18:00.000-08:00

1. weekend mornings in pajamas
2. rent that includes heat
3. the resilience of youth
4. mac student discounts

watch and listen

2006-12-04T22:17:00.000-08:00

even in our most veracious moments, so much remains enigmatic.

secret weapons...

2006-12-04T17:57:00.000-08:00

should be used like anti-frizz hair products:

sparingly

a t-shirt I've had since 3rd grade:

2006-11-27T10:40:00.000-08:00

the longer you hold on to something, the more the outside world changes.

broken remote control

2006-11-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

(literal and metaphorical haiku)

xenon and neon
atomic glow florescent
hypnotic plasma

untouchable dreams
wireless magic wakes me
breaking inertia

monkey business

2006-11-14T05:15:00.000-08:00

"hello, directory assistance?"
"may I please have the number for adulthood. chicago, illinois."
"thank you."
"hi, I meant to schedule an appointment with you to get this whole process started a long time ago. I have a tendency to procrastinate."
"oh really, there was a cancellation this afternoon?"
"at 4 pm, you say. I don't think I can make it then, I sort of had plans to wander around aimlessly in the rain without a hat or gloves listening to emo crap I shouldn't like on my ipod until I catch my death of cold."
"tomorrow morning at 8? I don't know about that either, you see I'm not usually awake before 9:45 unless I've stayed up all night."
"next week? hmm, unfortunately I won't actually know what I'm doing next week until, well, next week."
"right. I understand. tell you what, do you think maybe you could pencil me in for some time after the first of the year?"
"fantastic."

disheveled

2006-11-12T13:40:00.000-08:00

the only thing better than
first thing in the morning faces
is
first thing in the morning hair.

speechless

2006-11-09T21:50:00.000-08:00

we use our eyes when we run out of words.

this is an original pair of levi's

2006-11-06T19:38:00.000-08:00

- size 2R, ultra low rise, boot cut stretch

- casual but still sexy, a modern classic in excellent condition, slightly worn with some light overall fading but no exposed threads or noticeable damage to the fabric.

one might think I should add "hurry! this auction won't last much longer!"

however, recent trends dictate that only skinny fit tapered, visible deconstruction, excessive embellishing, and/or designer labels are in high demand.

and records show that while few place bids, many open their closets to think of the jeans that got away.

I wish I knew why.

drinking coffee after dark

2006-10-31T00:03:00.000-08:00

(and by dark, I mean 5:30 PM)

cheers.

pigtails:

2006-10-30T00:17:00.000-08:00

cheaper than prozac.

the breck girls

2006-10-24T19:53:00.000-07:00

(1937-1976)

a modern tribute to a lost icon

material

2006-10-20T11:41:00.000-07:00

(my DNA and my great-grandmother's quilt)

helix and thread
genetic and fabric

telling silent stories
pieces of past generations
full of secrets, mystery, and promise
made over time with skill, tradition, and love

shadow:

2006-10-19T18:44:00.000-07:00

1. a figure cast by intercepting light
2. comparative shade
3. mild suggestion
4. a ghost or phantom
5. an indistinct idea
6. an intimation
7. a reflected image
8. a period of doubt or pervasive threat
9. to shelter or protect
10. an inseparable companion
11. a detective, spy, or stalker
12. to secretly keep watch
13. without official authority
14. to cloud meaning
15. the absence of light
16. the darkest areas of a picture or photograph

déjà vu

2006-10-11T22:41:00.000-07:00

vintage hoodie... disheveled hair... ankle cast...
no, really, I've been here before.

repeat after me:

2006-10-08T15:19:00.000-07:00

it is not what you wear but how you wear it.

but miniskirts just do not have the same edge when you can't wear them with your knee length high heeled boots...

and it is hard to let you see me at ground level.

happy first official day of fall!

2006-10-03T20:00:00.000-07:00

it might be 85 degrees, but the colors are on the verge of changing...

boiling water

2006-10-01T01:20:00.000-07:00

I just need to stop watching.

wise fools

2006-09-30T12:36:00.000-07:00

"The words of the prophets
Are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls,
And whisper'd in the sound of silence."

deceptive

2006-09-28T15:22:00.000-07:00

clothing hides bones like persona hides fragility

transition

2006-09-27T19:46:00.000-07:00

I often forget that the word proactive actually has a negative connotation. it infers the anticipation of something expected to be difficult, painful, or even destructive. I am trying to actively eliminate proactive thinking in my life. because whether the destination is good or bad, my epiphanies generally happen en route.

I don't want to miss any more...

adventures in orthopedic surgery (part 1)

2006-09-26T19:16:00.000-07:00

recovery is a process. scar tissue forms. we function. we move on. we try to forget. we ignore the pain. we develop a limp. and we keep walking.

but twisting fate can expose injuries that never quite healed.

and the examination required to diagnose the cumulative damages is never comfortable or easy. it takes time.

so the question is... what should we do with ourselves while we wait?

I believe

2006-09-24T23:43:00.000-07:00

in god and love...
in karma and disco...
in evolution and myself...
in adrenaline and dopamine...
in new paint and recycling bins...
in vintage clothes and lucky charms...
in prime numbers and perfect squares...
in solitude and the existentialist dilemma...
in pheromone connection and cellular memory...
in the family dinner table and sunday newspapers...
in lucid dreaming and subconscious problem solving...

and maybe next time I'll believe in you.

once upon a time I was a dancer...

2006-09-24T00:15:00.000-07:00

for as fragile as life is, the human body is amazingly resilient. it will exhaust every option, divert any vital resource, and redirect all efforts until it finds a way to heal itself.

our minds are often less adaptable.

satire, irony, or sarcasm?

2006-09-22T21:44:00.000-07:00

if every story has all ready been told, if every song has all ready been heard, if every line has all ready been written, if no thought can be original, then why do we bother?

context.

circumstances, intent, and interpretation are not exempt from evolution.

we are so addicted to the drama.

2006-09-21T12:04:00.000-07:00

why?

because rarely do you hear someone say, "I feel more alive in retrospect."

fever and chills

2006-09-17T16:59:00.000-07:00

(or fyi: I am sick, and also, kind of a nerd)

we can be tourists in outer space, drive faster than the speed of sound, climb the highest mountain, and surgically rebuild our bodies.

but unicellular microorganisms still take us down.

looks can kill, or injure, really.

2006-09-02T16:54:00.000-07:00

and party dresses and stiletto heels can lead to disasters.

I should know this by now.

muu muu (noun):

2006-09-01T16:35:00.000-07:00

a long, loose-hanging dress, usually brightly colored or patterned, often with hawaiian prints

my grandmother once said, "more sinful things can happen under a conservative skirt than tightly fitting pants."

a tiny road trip epiphany...

2006-08-30T15:45:00.000-07:00

@ fat dog's in "you are nowhere", nebraska, I found the hat I did not realize had been missing from my life. however the man who sold it to me was missing most of his teeth.

and that is why I talk to strangers.

note to self:

2006-08-19T23:41:00.000-07:00

this does not work.

scandalous. no pun intended.

2006-08-11T15:41:00.000-07:00

I'd rather sell my body than my soul. if you need me, try searching for the line between art and prostitution. that's where I'll be.

only one place on earth knows all of my secrets.

2006-08-10T15:35:00.000-07:00

when you speak to canyons, you get echos.

when you speak to people, you get opinions.

what we leave behind us...

2006-08-08T15:31:00.000-07:00

if these blue walls could talk, I would have been grounded more often in high school.

the land of enchantment

2006-08-04T15:26:00.000-07:00

"down new mexico way something about the open road i knew that he was looking for some indian blood and find a little in you find a little in me we may be on this road but we're just impostors in this country you know so we go along and we said we'd fake it"- tori amos, a sorta fairytale

the luxury of routine maintenance

2006-07-29T04:36:00.000-07:00

(and other things we take for granted).

self-medicating

2006-07-21T15:19:00.000-07:00

is it better to wake up with a headache or stay up all night with repetitive thinking?

comfortable

2006-07-16T15:11:00.000-07:00

like a worn out t-shirt, even though I've torn holes in the fabric, I can't bring myself to throw you away.

I am nearsighted.

2006-07-15T15:05:00.000-07:00

with blind ambition and occasional hallucinations. but my hindsight is 20/20.

may I borrow your wings?

2006-07-14T14:59:00.000-07:00

it is all just too pedestrian.

for the lack of color in my life.

2006-07-07T14:54:00.000-07:00

I'd rather read a book.

2006-07-01T00:44:00.000-07:00

is that a good reason?

my hanes commercial audition

2006-06-29T14:47:00.000-07:00

perhaps redefining gender stereotypes starts with underwear.

waking up alone.

2006-06-28T14:43:00.000-07:00

this blanket has shared my bed for 24 years. I used to have two. I took the other for granted until I lost it forever. but this one never left. it smells like home and feels like love. it has given me something to hold onto. it knows tears and sweat. it has kept me warm. it is cherished.

and it may have set impossibly high standards.

once, a seatbelt saved my life.

2006-06-20T14:30:00.000-07:00

although sometimes I still see it flash before my eyes.

why?

2006-06-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

because you wrote an ode to my bottom lip.

happy summer!

2006-06-06T14:26:00.000-07:00

xoxox- esther williams

life, unedited.

2006-05-18T14:21:00.000-07:00

recently I haven't been eating balanced meals, showering often, or wearing makeup. I don't recommend it.

to chick: happy spring!

2006-04-20T14:14:00.000-07:00

xoxox- duck

since you asked...

2006-04-04T14:02:00.000-07:00

yes, this could very well be the same bears t-shirt you had when you were ten.

the original twelve

2006-02-05T13:16:00.000-08:00

(profile pictures that started all this nonsense, that is)